A tattoo instead

While I was recovering from my first loss and sometimes since then I have thought of getting a tattoo to honor the memory of the babies I have lost.  At first I was contemplating a tiny footprint, but their is so much unknown about my losses and I wouldn't want to explain to anyone the meaning behind it if it happened to be in a place that was visible.  After my current loss I thought about it even more, but I didn't like the angel stuff and I wasn't sold on the footprints.  Then I was watching a movie called sunshine cleaning, and one of the characters had simple bird tattoos.  Something about them struck me and I'm now obsessed with the idea of having a similar bird to represent each of my babies.  I have been scouring the internet for the last week trying to figure out where I would put them and how I would have them look.  I keep coming back to a picture of a dandelion blowing in the wind with birds flying through the dandelion seeds.  I can't pinpoint the meaning I want to convey, but I am continuously drawn to it.  I think I will try to meet with my tattoo artist in the next couple weeks.  Originally my plan was something small, but I can't figure out how it could be done well looking smaller.  I am kind of excited for the first time in a while for something.  For some reason I am embarrassed to tell my husband about the tattoo I want and why.  A friend of mine saw me browsing the tattoos and sounded a little condescending when she asked me why I would get that as a tattoo and what meaning does it hold.  She knows of my losses, but I don't want to put it into words and thinking about saying it out loud makes me feel embarrassed and foolish, but I don't care.  I think I have myself completely sold on the idea and the only way to relieve my obsession is to go through with it.